23. Do you want to be a 𝗕𝗼𝘀𝘀 or a 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱?

A few years ago, my younger son Ogi called me and said: “I did that thing that you told me not to do!“
First I’ll explain what that one thing is, and then how he has solved it finally.
If you plan to climb the corporate ladder, it will also be useful to you.

When Ogi got a job at one of those companies that are in one of those glass buildings, I told him to read all about the company’s culture, values, and to observe the behavior of other employees and their managers.

Knowing his character, I drew his attention to avoid chit-chatting with other employees.

Chit-chatting is informal conversation about matters that are not important, supported by creating such a relationship with colleagues and even bosses, as if we knew each other for 20 years. 

Ogi makes it spontaneously and he is a master at making friends and influencing everyone. 
So what’s wrong with it?

Such employees are ideal for any company. They are masters at any event, even breaks, constantly spreading a positive atmosphere. With them, everyone feels that the office is full of their friends.
True, such employees are ideal for the company, but they limit their own career advancement.

Ogi realized this after about half a year. The director called him and said that he had discussed with the owner of the company about promoting him to a team leader, but they were in doubt that Ogi couldn’t be an authority to his current colleagues, because he treated them as friends. 
Ogi, of course, said that he would do as he was asked.

A similar conversation was repeated several more times, even with the owner on the flight to a conference.

At the conference, the owner was impressed about how Ogi created a good relationship with prospects, but … promotion was absent.

I know that many of you at this moment believe that Ogi did not make any mistake, so I will clarify how he should have behaved.

From the first moment, he had to behave as if it was only a question of when he would become the boss to his colleagues. This attitude and behavior is the opposite of the way you socialized at school and in private, but that’s exactly why you need to follow the following instructions:

🎯 Communicate and socialize with all colleagues from “your future team”, not just some of them. That way, when you really become their boss, you won’t be accused of favoring your “friends”.

🎯 Accept the management decisions and discuss them with colleagues in a positive spirit. If you do not agree with those decisions, do not comment on them to your colleagues.

🎯 At all gatherings outside of working hours, think: “I’m the boss?” and let that be your guide.

🎯 Be moderate with alcohol, laughing, noise, and don’t even think about picking on a colleague or making politically incorrect comments.

🎯 In conflict situations, take the initiative to “fix the situation”.

🎯 Take care of colleagues’ birthdays and private anniversaries…

There are more instructions, but for the purposes of this text this is enough.

If you stick to these guidelines the moment you get a promotion you’ve paved the way for you to be able to give assignments to yesterday’s colleagues. Their attitude will be: “From the beginning, he left me the impression that he would be the boss“

If you think I’m wrong, feel free to write your opinion.

I met a large number of people who were “friends”, so on the first day as bosses, they received a chorus of response: “Don’t make fun of me, yesterday we had a beer together, and now you’re playing the big boss for me!“

P.S. How did Ogi solve this situation? He moved to a new company. He could work in the previous one for the next 10 years, but he would still be followed by the rumor that he does not have authority as a boss, because he likes chit-chatting.

More about Coaching Drama you can find at www.CoachingDrama.com